Sensa You’re Densa, Show Some Mensa

Some of the most obnoxious and offensive internet ads that I’ve ever viewed – are the Sensa weight loss ads. The ads feature women, whose stomachs expand and contract, like bloated balloons being blown up and released. After being forced to see a series of these ads, I now block them out with my hand – while accessing my e-mail.

There are many reasons why these ads repel me, but my three greatest gripes are: 1. the gross imagery, 2. the focus on women and weight, and 3. that I’ve never once seen a man, in any of these abhorant ads. It could be that they exist, but in all the months that I’ve been subjected to their repeated, repulsive assault – I’ve never seen any males with bulging bellies.

 

I please point out something, Dr. Hirsch? Although I lack your illustrious titles, and I haven’t (yet) appeared on Oprah, CNN and Extra, it doesn’t take a Harvard degree – to see how many fat ass men, are out there. Therefore, I think that it’s only fair, to display some disgusting male guts in your ads. Fortunately for you, I have a background in advertising copywriting; and I’d be thrilled to help you, revamp your campaign. Because I have a particular fondness and fetish, for flabby folds of fat. Why not focus, for example, on a grubby gang of guys drinking a little brewski after bowling? The headline could be: “Suck it up, then suck it in!” Folks will get a huge hoot from watching a bunch of boisterous boys, broadcasting their beguiling butt cracks – while getting drunk. Now, combine that provocative pose with a sideways shot of their stomachs expanding and contracting. Bingo! It looks like we’ve got a weight-loss winner!

But why stop there, Dr. H.? Wouldn’t it be realistic, to show several of them spewing suds, after drinking too much? You know, how goofy guys can be! Oh, sorry - I forgot that I’m addressing someone who was probably raised on Mogan David, but then graduated to a Montrachet – after grad school. I’m sure that you wouldn’t be caught dead, whooping it up with your eminent colleagues at “Hank’s Happy Hour!” Plus, those honey coated beer nuts are far too fattening. You’ll need to maintain your “girlish figure,” in order to keep bagging those big bucks.

While I realize that you’re not solely responsible, for the fat-free female, fanatic frenzy – you’re also a part of promoting and propagating, this crazy crap. Start showing some sechel and Mensa it’s the least that you can do. By only using women in your ads, you’re not-so-subtly saying – that it’s only females who need to be “fixed.” Instead of displaying chubby bubbies – show their tubby hubbies. And enough already, with the “in and out” stomachs. It turns my stomach, “inside out.”

~ by kissandkvell on April 20, 2009.